Help Us Fight Juvenile Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia

In 2023, I wrote about the potential health benefits of eating ice cream—in an article so controversial it received literally ZERO comments. Today I bear sad news—and a likely retraction. The latest scientific research has linked ice cream consumption in children to the acute onset of an insidious condition known as Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia. Citations to follow soon.

Symptoms include, but are not limited to:

  • Sudden-onset migraine-like pain
  • Numbness
  • Screaming
  • Rage
  • Inexplicable desire for more ice cream

There is currently no know cure for SPGN, but it can be controlled—primarily by preventing contact between children and ice cream.

Every dollar you send to the Underbelly Fight Juvenile Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia Fund (UnBFJSPGNF) wil be used to keep this dangerous substance away from children, and to make sure it stays where it belongs—in our own mouths.

Have you or someone you love been affected by SPGN? Please share in the comments.

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zane mooneyhan
2 months ago

this is such a terrible condition from which i know many sufferers, its great to see you speaking out on the issue

1 month ago

Thank you, sir, for advancing this noble cause.